All the struggles

Okay this post will actually be a TMI type of post.

If you've read my previous post you'll know the struggle that baby and I had to go through while I was in labor. Once she was out, that was not the only thing we had to worry about.

After I got out of surgery, I was told that the recovery part of having a c-section will be hard. (Honestly, that was not the hard part.) The nurses wheeled me from my "birthing room" to the postpartum room and said "Let us know if you need anything and we'll get it for you." When they left our room, I remember looking at my husband and just being truly grateful that he was able to be with me. Thank goodness he was able to take off from Dec. 2 until the weekend.

Anyways, the day after I gave birth, the nurse tried to get me to stand. Although it look me about 3 minutes to sit up and get out of bed, I eventually did. When I got out of bed the nurse said "Okay, now when you get out of bed, gravity will pull down all of the liquid that needs to come out." Hmmm alright that sounds good to me I guess. What the nurse didn't tell me was that the liquid would be blood. A lot of blood. My thought was that it was my period, only because I was hapai (pregnant) for nine months. "Now the blood that came out is just all of the "gunk" that was stored in your body while you were creating your baby!" How the nurse worded this didn't seem right. So....my daughter stayed in my body, in the water, in this "gunk"? Cool. While the blood was draining out of me, the nurse brought out what looked like a HUGE diaper. Really it was a HUGE pad that I've NEVER seen before.

As the days went on, the nurses would come in and check my vitals, my incision and my bleeding to see if everything was under control. The one thing that always looked bad on my vitals was my high blood pressure. My blood pressure would range from 120/97 to 150/105. Normally your blood pressure would need to be 120/80. While the nurses continued to watch my blood pressure, they also kept my doctor informed of what was going on. The more they checked my blood pressure, the more I would get asked "Do you have a headache? Do you feel dizzy? Are your reflexes okay? Do you have blurry vision?" My response was always"Nope I feel absolutely fine." Following my response, the nurse who took my vitals at that time looked at me with a confused face and would always say "You look fine, but the machine says otherwise."

The more I saw a needle or had to look at my stitches, the higher my blood pressure got. Have I told you how much I hate hospitals? Well now you know, if its not obvious. 

Around the third day of my stay in the hospital, I was told that I would be able to leave and go home with my baby. Before I could even leave, they wanted to check my vitals once more to make sure my blood pressure had gone down. Yet again, it was skyrocket high to where they called the doctor and said that he'd be in first thing in the morning to talk to me...Seriously? What now? What could be so wrong that he'd have to come in? I was sure that it had gone down. 

Well after waiting all day he finally came in around 7 PM. Not to sure if he forgot he needed to come in the morning to check me or if he was actually busy. I guess the main thing is that he was there. 

"So Leah, we've been watching your vitals and have been keeping an eye on your blood pressure. I'm sure you're aware that at this point it's too high. It's more than above the normal range. If we can't get it down, it could lead to you having a seizure or a stroke..." Right now all I could think of was my little girl. 

What would happen if I did have a seizure or get a stroke while I was holding her? Who would take care of my family? Who would help my husband if it gets to the point where I can't move? You might think that I'm a little dramatic, but let's be honest I just had a beautiful baby girl. My doctor kept pouring bad news on me all at once. What was I suppose to do? 

"Okay, lets go ahead and take your blood pressure to see if it's gone down? In the mean time, we'll have you take magnesium through an IV for 24 hrs and we'll check to see how you're doing. How does that sound?" Uh, you just told me a whole bunch of bad news and then you want to take my vitals again? My heart is working over time AND I'm pretty sure my blood pressure just got higher.  

Let me tell you having the magnesium in me for 24 hours SUCKED. I was too afraid to hold my little girl because I was too drugged up. My body felt weak, but I didn't want to show it because I'm that stubborn. I was too tired to have visitors, but I wouldn't sleep when friends/family came. With having the magnesium in me for 10 hrs my blood pressure still had not gone down. On top of the IV that I was getting, they also gave me labetalol, IBUprofen AND prenatals. I hate taking medication because I don't believe it actually helps. 

The 24 hrs finally came and my blood pressure has still not gone down. All I could think about was to go home and be with my family. All I wanted to do was to be in the own comfort of my own home. I guess by this time the nurses and doctor could feel that I was about to break out and go crazy, because I was finally released on Sunday, December 7th, five full days after I was admitted. 

When I was sent home, the doctor said I still needed to take the labetalol, IBUprofen and the prenatals. Since I'm a doctor myself (total sarcasm), I decided that I didn't need it anymore. I decided for myself that if I took it I would do more harm to my body more than ever. To be honest the next day I went over to my parents to check my blood pressure and it was back to normal. All of the struggles that I feel I could have possibly gone through came all at once. It came all while my little family was starting, it came at a time when my faith needed to be tested. 

I would honestly go through everything all over again if I had to just to bring in a wonderful blessing.